~A Lonely Pretty Little Doll~

I am a pretty little doll. I have long wavy hair with a light blue ribbon clipped on. I wear a blue frock that reached up to my knees. I love my white shoes. I am the kind of typical play dolls little girls like to play with. But there was something different about me. I can feel.

I sit on the brown shelves of this little toy shop. It isn't grand, but I love this place because it is cozy. I like to see the different kind of people coming into the shop. They just look so interesting. But I cannot interact with them. I can only wait for them to notice me.

I like the place where I sit. Because just straight up ahead of me, there is this good-looking boy. He has been around for as long as I have been. Or maybe longer. I do not have a heart, so I would not say my heart beat faster when I saw him. But remember, I can feel. And when I met him, I felt a kind of surge, telling me, I needed to talk to him.

We never did. I was being placed on the shelves at one corner of the shop. He was placed on the shelves on another corner of the shop. Days went by, and all I could do was look at him. It has been two years, five months, two weeks, and six days now. I never got tired looking at him. He is perfect.

He has ebony hair nicely styled. He wore a life vest and beach pants. He seem like a prince. He never talk. All the time, he just has this sad looking expression on his face. I wish I knew why he had that look, but I never did.

*** ***

Today is another great day. The sun shine through the translucent glass window. Dolls never sleep of course. We are never tired. I've seen uncountable sunrise and sunset. And today seems like another great day. Everyday has been great actually, because I have him to look at, and my cozy home where I belong.

Here comes the shop keeper. A gentle old lady who loves children. She has two of her own, both grown and married. This shop was started by her children as her birthday present. They knew they ever since they got married, they spent lesser time with their mother. They did not want her to feel bored nor alone and thus this shop was set up. Besides chasing away loneliness for old gentle Mrs. Bissett, this shop eventually became a home to dolls like me.

A little girl came in through the door way. She hopped in actually, with a little lollipop in her hands.

"Good morning, granny!"

This is her usual routine. As expected, the girl's mother stepped in the shop in exactly two minutes after. It is heart warming to see how they have got each to care for, a granddaughter and daughter to care for her. Mrs. Bissett must be feeling really blissful.

How I wished, I've got a family to care for me as well.

Little sweetie pie, the lovable granddaughter of Mrs. Bissett skipped off after giving a hug to granny. Together hand in hand with her mother, they walked off. Mrs. Bissett smiled as they went. Then she gave a sigh and mumbled to herself.

Does she still feel lonely? Like the way I do?

The sad expression is still on his face. His beautiful face. Can he feel just like the way I do? Or is he like any typical doll? Does he look at me, like the way I look at him?

A boy came in the shop. He has a very bad temper. He demanded Mrs. Bissett to get him a train set. A burly man came in after the little boy. He demanded the best train set for the little boy. Like father, like son. Poor Mrs. Bissett. She led them to the train set collection.

Each and every set was lovely. I do not understand why the little boy disliked them. He said they looked ugly. Upon seeing how Mrs. Bissett gave a bitter smile, both the father and son walked out of the shop.

I wonder how Mrs. Bissett felt. Poor old lady. Yet she kept her cool despite the insults she received from them. She have good tolerance. Perhaps that is why I like Mrs. Bissett?

I have been staying in the same position for two years. No one ever comes to take a look at me. Except for a little girl I remember. She has wide eyes and cherry lips. She also has an adorable expression. She took me off the shelves and said to her mother she wanted me. But her mother said no and she put me back. With tears in her face, she ran outside and shop and cried silently.

I still do not understand, why the mother did that, but she came over to me, took me off the shelf and stroke my hair. For the first time ever in my life, I could feel a mother's love. It felt like sun shine, warming me up. I never felt such warmth before and I like the feeling. It felt like I was loved, cherished, and protected. That's how great a mother's love can be. Or at least, that was how I felt for that one minute when she held me.

I remember vividly, what the mother said. She looked at her daughter outside the shop and a tear rolled down her cheeks. As she spoke, I thought I could hear her heart break.

"I know my daughter wants you. But I cannot afford it. My husband is gone. And my family is under going financial difficulty. As much as I know that a girl like her loves to have dolls like you, I can't afford to give her one. I feel sorry for myself, for her, and sorry to you. You are a pretty little doll. May you find a good owner. And when you do, bless us will ya?"

She smiled. I looked at her. Does she understand how I feel? I don't need money. If you want, why not just take me? I will be the little girl's companion because I feel lonely as well. Sitting on the shelves for more than two years, with no one to talk to how I feel about the prince opposite me, with no one to play with, with no where to go except to stay and face the walls of this shop.

True, it may be cozy but I want to explore the world.
True, I may feel happy because at least I get to look at him, but it's not enough.

I need company, I need friends. Most importantly, I need my fresh air.

But in the end, I will still be a pretty little doll. A doll that never grows old, a doll that will remain lonely, a doll with a soul that lingers in the body of a toy doll.

That's what I am, a lonely, pretty little doll.





---END---


*** *** *** *** ***

It's been a long time since I wrote any story. Didn't felt like doing anything else so I must as well wrote one. ;\ . I supposed I can say I didn't plan the plot because I had none to begin with. It's a kinda free writing.

But it contains bits and pieces of how I feel. ;\ .

I think the little doll has bits and pieces of me in it. ;| .

But thinking about it. Wouldn't it be cool if I were a doll?
At least my heart won't ache as it does now.

Jared Chau.
I supposed I have to thank you?
For letting me taste the feeling of love and hate.

A lesson of a lifetime.
You are a wonderful teacher.