~A Warm Welcome~

“You can’t let me go now…” she sobbed.
“Why not?” he asked, in the most monotone voice he had.
“Because I love you.” She grabbed on to his arm.
“Cut it out. My feelings for you have faded. I have to go now. She is waiting.” He pulled her hands away and dropped it. “I hope we won’t meet again.” And he left her standing under the lamppost where the dim light flickered.

*** ***

A tear rolled down as I woke up from my dream. Memories of him came flooding back.
No. I must not think of him. That is the reason why I am on this plane now, on my way to Venice. Away from the place of depression, away from him.

He had promised to go to Venice with me. He said the lights and scenery there was beautiful. As beautiful as I were. He said the atmosphere there was just right for us. Just like how I am just right to be the one for him.

But memories are just memories now. Times changed. He changed. His heart changed.

“Passengers, please buckle on your seat belts. The plane will be landing in awhile.”

*** ***

Venice. What a beautiful place.

It was a pity I am here alone. All by myself, without him. So why did I choose to come here when I wanted to forget him? I thought that in order to forget him, I must let go of him. And in order to do so, I must learn to face up to the memories he gave me.

Half in a daze lost in my own flashback, I walked into him. His charming blue eyes, deep as an ocean, held my gaze. I held my breath as I examined his features. My heart started thumping faster and faster. I have never been so close in contact with any guy other than Dew.

“Are you ok, Miss?”

I startled. “Oh!” I looked away and pretended to check my luggage. “Yes I am. I am.”
I gave him a quick smile.

“You look lost,” he replied with a gentle smile that kept me mesmerized.

“Yes I am, I guess?” Lost in his eyes.

He scratched his head in a way I thought he looked extremely cute. “Do you need my help then? I have been around here for quite some time. I can help you find your destination if you want,” still with a smile on his face.

“Yes sure,” I flushed.

*** ***

Ray kept me company for the rest of my stay in Venice. He became my tour guide, my friend. And just like his name, he brought light into my life. When I reached Venice, my world was still surrounded by the gloom that roamed around me. But as days passed being with him, the gloomy clouds dispersed one by one. And slowly, I fell in love with him. It was all too fast. But my heart told me that Ray would not be like Dew. Ray was different. He can bring light into my world. He brought me to see the world. The much more beautiful world I deserve. Maybe, I thought to myself, this is love at first sight.

One of Ina’s song rang in my ears, “And suddenly the things that used to sound cliché are perfectly right in my eyes, perfectly right with this guy.”

We did all the things couple did. We watched movies, we took strolls. We ate our meals together, we had picnics. We held hands, and I felt the sense of security when my hands are clasped in his, and that warm feeling each time he pulled and secure me in his embrace. My face, I swear will turn red each time our body came into contact.

My heart thumped so loud I believed everyone around us could hear when his lips touched mine. We were on the streets, where many couples were around too. He proudly acknowledged me in front of everyone there that I was his girlfriend. And that he wanted to spend his life with me. It was something Dew never did. I hated him for hiding me away from his friends, making me feel unworthy to be introduced to anyone as his girl.

It was not long after before one of our dates ended up in his house. It was his birthday.
25 April, when I gave myself to him. It was merely lip locking but it was too much to resist. I wanted him and he wanted me. We wanted each other so much. And with the effects of alcohol acting up, it was no wonder I lost my head. We ended up in his bed.

“Do you regret it?” he asked me.

“Definitely not,” I flushed.

“I was afraid you did. Emily, do you know, this is the first time I felt so elated ever in my whole life? Just yesterday, you gave me the best birthday present I can ever get. I don’t want to lose you. Be mine forever will you?”

“For you, I will.”

His words sounded so real. And I trusted him. Only him. I didn’t understand why I gave in to him so easily after being hurt so deeply by Dew.

Dew was my first and only crush and he dumped me. I knew he had many girls around him but I trusted him. He broke my trust and by right, I should have hesitate more before trusting any other guys but here I was, trusting Ray with my life. Like he was the one for me. And I was so sure about that.

I thought I had the world with me. I thought I had fate controlled now. But happiness never last long because I was so blessed I forgot about that fact that I was on a holiday. And before I knew it, my time in Venice was almost up. I needed to be back where I belonged.

My Ray. My everything.

*** ***

“Promise that you will write to me.” Tears flowing down.

We were standing in the air port. I was looking down at the floor. I was afraid of seeing his face for the last time. I did not want to leave him. He was my world and I needed him. What am I going to do without him? He brought the sunshine back in me. My smile that was present only for him. But now that we are going to part, will the gloom return?

“I will,” he pulled me into his embrace like he always did. It hurt me badly when I know that was probably going to be the last time I can feel this sense of security no one but him can give.

He came with a bouquet of roses. He said I was as beautiful as those roses. He was wearing the same set of clothes he wore when we first met. We were standing on the same spot where I walked into him. We were at where we met, now we had to part at the same spot. It was like reading a story and it was the ending. It was ridiculous but true.

“I hate leaving you.” I hugged his neck tightly, and memories of us walking down the aisle of the park became vivid.

He looked at me with eyes that penetrated me. “Take this. Do not open it until you are on the plane. Open it when you miss me. This letter will keep you company when you think of me.” He passed me a pink envelope. It was sealed tightly.

“Passengers who are boarding plane SL45 please gather at the departure hall now. The gate of the hall will be closing in approximately ten minutes.”

Ray walked me to the departure hall.

“I have to leave now. Do you have anything else to say to me? Just one last sentence before I go?”

He looked at me. “Emily, I love you.”

That was all I needed. I took the luggage from his hands and he bent down to give me a peck on my forehead. “Goodbye, Ray. I will miss you.”

I walked without looking back. I did not want him to see my tears. I wanted him to remember me as the happy me, and not the weak me. Each step I took, it hurt more. Each step I took, I was further away from him.

“Emily, I love you,” his voice echoed.

I stepped into the hall. The air that blew into my face was cold. Like I stepped into Arctic. Life without Ray is going to be like in Arctic.

I turned around. I made sure Ray could not see my tears. I gave him a bitter smile.

“Goodbye, Ray,” was all that raced through my mind as I waved to him, with the bouquet in my hand, held tightly.

I turned and headed for the plane. As I did, tears started to stream down uncontrollably again. Suddenly, it was not gloom that surrounded me. I felt as if I was walking on nothing. I could feel nothing. I could see nothing. I was nothing. Without Ray, that was how empty I was. My soul tore. “Ray, where are you, I am missing you now.”

*** ***

I sat still in my seat. My face covered with tracks of the tears that dried up. I stare into the air in front of me. I saw Ray. Images of where and how we met came flooding. I miss him. I am missing him even though it’s just ten minutes ago when I last saw him. Ten minutes ago when I heard him said he loves me. I had him ten minutes ago. And now, ten minutes later from then, I lost him. I lost everything.

“Passengers, please buckle your seat belts. The plane will be departing in a short while.”

“Miss, please buckle your seat belt.” Someone tapped me. I was pulled back into reality and as I fidgeted, my handbag dropped.

I looked up. An air stewardess was smiling. I returned a weak smile and buckled my seat belt. I bend down to pick up my bag. As I did, I noticed a pink edge of an envelop jutting out.

Ray!

I took out the envelope and held it close to me. Suddenly, I feel alive. I flipped the envelop front and back to find a way to reach the contents inside without having to damage the envelop. The envelop was Ray. How can I damage him?

Ray Ray Ray.

But it seemed no other way. I tore slowly. The opening that had been sealed tightly, wondering what was inside.

Ray Ray Ray.

I need to know what is inside.

Ray Ray Ray.

It was nicely torn.

Ray!

I reached and took out the card inside it.

Ray…

I drop the card after reading it.

*** ***

Printed in Ray’s handwriting were those deadly words in red.

“Hi Emily dear, welcome to the AIDS Club.”




---END---